Let’s explore some do’s and don’ts for using emotional intelligence.
Don’t assume that you don’t bring your emotions to work with you. You don’t leave them at home.
How do you feel about your job? Do you love it? Do you hate it?
The way in which you answer that question will give you an understanding that there is some emotional component to the way in which you approach your work.
Don’t think that emotional intelligence is not relevant for your job. It’s not relevant in every job, but any job that involves influencing, persuading and developing relationships with people involves emotional intelligence.
Any decisions you need to make at work are going to be underpinned by how you feel about the situation and how this influences your thinking and your intuition.
Don’t think that your emotional intelligence needs no further development. It does! We are continually learning and growing as situations evolve and environments change around use. You will be continually assessing the ways in which you work with other people and so continually improving how you adapt around them.
Leadership, teamwork, organisational skills, change management, conflict management, all involve some elements of emotional intelligence.
Don’t use emotional intelligence to manipulate people and situations to your advantage. Don’t play on people’s fears and insecurities to get them to do what you want and that includes taking advantage of them when they are happy.
This includes being overly critical. Criticizing others is often an unconscious defense mechanism to alleviate our own insecurities and this is not being emotionally intelligent.
We’re all critical sometimes. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing—to think carefully and critically about the world around us is a vital skill. It helps us navigate the world and our relationships in an objective way.
Helpful criticism is about making the world better. Unhelpful criticism is about making yourself feel better.
Here are some do’s to consider around your emotional intelligence.
Think about how you emotionally react to other people.
How do they make you feel?
How does another person’s behaviour influence your emotions and how you behave towards them?
How do you use the underlying emotions and those feelings in terms of building relationships?
Consider ways in which you might test and develop your emotional intelligence.
There are many good quality assessments that will measure and evaluate how you are working with your emotional intelligence. They can give you some really valuable insights that will develop your self awareness.
Consider working with a coach who can help you to determine how you’re engaging with your emotions. They can give you an understanding around how you’re reacting to situations and offer you new perspectives.
Ask yourself honestly how well do you react to the concerns of other people?
How do you use your empathy? How important is it for you to see things from their viewpoint?
Can you see things from other perspectives? How much does your attitude and your way of thinking prevent you from keeping an open mind?
How can you use the power in emotional intelligence?
How can you help others to touch them, influence them and make the world a better place for everyone?
And, finally, enjoy working with your emotional intelligence.