Enhancing the Skills and Qualities of Resilience – Confidence and Assertiveness

People can use their influence to intimidate someone or to force them to do something against their will or against their better judgement.  Bullying can take on many forms, which can involve provocation, intrusive behaviour, name calling, arguments and rudeness. It can also be much more subtle – excluding and ignoring people and their contribution, unacceptable criticisms and overloading people with work.  These behaviours can occur in the real world and online.  Standing up for yourself requires confidence and assertiveness.  It is often difficult to feel confident and to be assertive in the right way in certain circumstances.

Examples of questions you might use when coaching around Confidence and Assertiveness
(Depending upon the circumstances or the situation described, extreme care needs to be taken in what questions are asked and how they are asked.)

– What circumstances and situations cause you to feel intimidated or to do something that you don’t want to do? How regularly does this happen? Why do you think it happens?

– Why is this situation difficult for you? How does it make you feel? What can you do about it? How can you feel better about yourself?

– Who can help you? What can they do about changing the situation? What can they do to help you?

– Who else can you get involved? How can they get involved?

– What needs to happen to prevent this situation from arising again?

– How do you react when you see others being treated in this way? What do you feel? How do you use those feelings?

– What do you need to become more confident? What will help you gain more confidence?

– What do you need to do to stand up for yourself and to be more assertive? How can you develop your assertiveness? Who can help you?

One of a series of 18 images from the coaching toolbox – Images of Resilience – available from RSVP Design.

Images of Resilience is a collection of metaphor cards representing a range of experiences and emotions linked to the theme of resilience. They explore different facets and connections with stress, change, challenge and learning.

Each image is accompanied with a range of suggested coaching questions to explore situations where resilience is needed, and the qualities or skills that can be developed to strengthen resilience.