When I was a teenager, I spent two weeks working with a naval architect called George who had a great impression on me due to basing many aspects of his life on 4 agreements. He said to me that the order of these is as important as the messages. Don’t worry, we’ll look at these shortly. “It all starts with us, the one” he said, upon introducing this concept. “The way you show up and act, will determine everything that happens to you that day Jeremy” he said, and in fact, he went on to say that it would probably impact the whole relationship with that person too. “Be a person of your word young man.” he said with a smile. As a 13 year old boy, that hit me hard. I’ve often recalled those wise words. Really, at the time it was insightful but it is only in the last few years that I have truly understood the gravity of what he had taught me.
Resilience is the positive behaviour of the emotional intelligence competency, ‘self-management’ and since the pandemic lockdowns, it has been discussed extensively, especially in professional circles.
In this article, we’re going to have a closer look at how to boost our resilience by breaking down the “The 4 Agreements Model” with business case examples.
The 4 Agreements Model – Don Miguel Ruiz
Here, we’re going to look at the 4 elements of Don Miguel’s model and apply them each to a typical business case.
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
Business Case Example: A project manager gives clear, honest feedback to her team, avoiding negative comments about team members’ abilities. Instead, she focuses on constructive criticism and actionable advice, which builds trust and encourages improvement without fostering resentment or fear. This positive approach compounds over time as the more you demonstrate this, the more credible you become. It takes time and consistency but the results are definitely worth it! Remember George? This was his mantra.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Business Case Example: A sales director receives criticism from a client about a product’s performance. Instead of feeling personally attacked, he views the feedback as a chance to improve the product, thus maintaining his composure and using the criticism constructively. Separating the person from the problem isn’t always possible but in many cases it is and when this is done, with an objective mind, solutions are more likely to come up. Taking things personally has always been a weakness of mine and I’ve struggled to temper this down over the years. I’ve noticed that in many cases, when I have caught myself doing this, I have managed to separate the problem / challenge from a person or myself which has helped me to move ahead with clarity in a clear direction.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Business Case Example: A marketing team leader notices a drop in productivity. Instead of assuming laziness or incompetence, she asks direct questions and discovers that the team is overwhelmed by recent changes in project scope. This leads to better communication and adjustments in workload distribution. Assuming, even the most obvious is a dangerous game in both life and work so taking time to ask more specific questions is an intelligent way to proceed in situations like this. George picked me up on this a few times and reminded me to stay grounded and ask as many (seemingly obvious) questions as necessary to clarify understanding. Even today, I’m amazed how often we assume so much in life and business. Ask more detailed questions.
4. Always Do Your Best
Business Case Example: An entrepreneur faces a market downturn. Instead of succumbing to self-blame or regret, he focuses on doing his best under the circumstances, exploring new markets, and adapting his business model, which eventually leads to new opportunities and growth. Looking at the glass being half full as opposed to half empty is seemingly a small adjustment but it can trigger a whole new way of thinking. Try it! George said to me on my last day that as long as I always implicate myself and give life my best, it will be a journey worth embarking on and I will have the chance of living a life worth living. How true.
The point here is that these 4 agreements aren’t just powerful but they complement one another. If you are impeccable with your word, don’t take things too personally or make too many assumptions and always give your best, whatever happens in the world around you will be less likely to negatively impact you. What’s also important here is always striving to find out and work towards your ‘reason to be’ because this will give you the energy to power through the low days or periods of your life.
Six Ways to Keep Your Peace
1. Mindful Detachment
Business Case Example: During a heated board meeting, a CEO uses mindful detachment when faced with aggressive questioning. He takes a deep breath, reminding himself that the challenge is not a personal attack, which helps him respond calmly and effectively.
2. Self-Reflection
Business Case Example: After losing a key client, a business owner reflects on what could have been done differently rather than dwelling on failure. This self-reflection leads to improved client management strategies and prevents future losses.
3. Healthy Boundaries
Business Case Example: An IT manager sets clear boundaries by not responding to work emails after hours, which helps maintain work-life balance and sets a precedent for her team, reducing burnout and improving overall team health.
4. Gratitude Practice
Business Case Example: A startup founder, facing funding issues, shifts focus to what is going well: a dedicated team, a growing user base, and positive customer feedback. This gratitude practice keeps morale high and opens up creative solutions for funding.
5. Mantra Repetition
Business Case Example: Facing a high-stakes negotiation, a CFO uses the mantra “It’s about the deal, not about me.” This helps maintain focus on the negotiation’s objectives rather than getting caught up in personal ego or confrontation.
6. Visualization
Business Case Example: Before a major product launch, the product manager visualizes success and calm responses to any issues that might arise. This mental preparation helps her stay composed and proactive during the actual launch, ensuring smooth execution.
My focus areas
The two areas from this list that I have been working on in the last year are
‘self-reflection’ and ‘healthy boundaries’ and I can safely say that my life has become somewhat calmer and more balanced than before as a result especially considering that I often work from my home which is, let’s say, rather dynamic. I’m sure many of you know what I mean!
By integrating these practices into daily business interactions, leaders can maintain their composure, make better decisions, and foster a healthier, more productive work environment. These strategies not only help in personal development but also contribute to a positive organizational culture, enhancing overall business performance and resilience. Good luck!
Jeremy Williams | peercoaching460.carrd.co | 2025
